I have serious problems with Helen Keller

  • Me: “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” "Dark" and "light." Really? How'd they teach her that?
  • My mother: You can feel it. You can feel when the light hits you.
  • Me: She was blind!
  • My mother: You can feel it, Jane.
  • Me: Ok fine. Fine. Let's say I grant you "dark" and "light." Fine. "Rather"?? How'd they teach her "rather"? Could she feel that when it hit her??
  • My mother: She was a savage. She was a savage and they civilized her!
  • Me: That's just a metaphor for Black/Pacific Islander/Pre-Colombian Mesoamericans! This Helen Keller story is about racism!
  • My mother: Wooooowwwww Jane. That is a bridge to nowhere. I see why you like Sarah Palin now. You two are quite fond of that bridge.
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